He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
