Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
