you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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