If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
