Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize