i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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