I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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