Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
