Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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