I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
