pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
