All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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