Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize