i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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