I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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