I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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