I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
