FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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