I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
how does that bad decision feel?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
