I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
