yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Randomize
