I don't remember. Are we still dating?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
