we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
