just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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