Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
