your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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