Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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