Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
As shirtless as possible
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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