He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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