So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
