he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
