I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
