its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
