omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
