just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so let's talk penis.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize