Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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