I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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