i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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