I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
