You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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