Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize