Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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