Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
