can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We need to get me chipped asap
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
