Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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