I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There r osticjed everywhere
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize