Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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