I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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