I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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