I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
