what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
