You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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