Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
