Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
