He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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