saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
